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Narcissistic Abuse Recovery: How to Get Over a Narcissist

My Ex-Husband Is A Narcissist, And Here's What I've Learned Since I Left Him

It has taken a long, long time to learn to keep my wits about me co-parenting with a narcissist, and I admit, I don't always succeed. 14 Apr If You're Dealing With A Narcissistic Ex, Read This So you are finally divorced from your narcissist, and no longer do you have to endure the day-to-day abuse, the passive aggressive manipulation, or his constant attempts to make you look like the . Why Women With Perfect Husbands Are Unfaithful. If you find yourself co-parenting with a narcissist, the no engagement rule has to be altered to limited engagement. I spent three years tilting my head slightly sideways as I tried to decipher the emails that came through from my ex-husband . Sometimes I The general rule when dealing with a narcissist is no engagement.

A narcissist may come across as arrogant and selfish. They undermine others to inflate their own sense of self. They truly believe that the world revolves around them.

People and things are there for them to use when and if they please. They are unable to show true empathy for others, which make it difficult to maintain a loving, healthy relationship. When you first met your ex, he was probably a charmer.

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You truly believed that you had met your prince charming. In time, the fairytale began to crumble and he began criticizing you for the tiniest little thing.

Then he blamed you for everything that he perceived to be wrong in his life and would point out all of your faults — real or imaginary. He also became manipulative and controlling. At one time, you may have believed that he loved you. It is important to ask yourself, if he really loved you or if he was in love with love, or just in love with the fact that read more worshiped the ground he walked on.

Then the stresses of the divorce took over and unleashed a monster within. You may be wondering what happened because your ex has no resemblance to the man you married.

Your ex can become increasingly manipulative during and after divorce due to the stress, he may feel because of monetary issues, legal issues and custody battles as How To Cope With A Narcissistic Ex Husband as feelings of abandonment, betrayal, and loss of control. When dealing with the narcissist ex it is important to remain calm. The calmer you are, the more in control you will be.

Get a good attorney that will look out for your rights regarding spousal and child support as well as equal division of the marital property. Accept the fact that you will not change him or his beliefs. Most, if not all of his demands during the divorce will be about what is convenient for him without regards to the feelings and needs of others involved.

Refrain from the temptation to make other people see your side of the story. Your narcissist ex may be so charming that he has convinced other people that you are in the wrong and crazy for leaving him. People that never lived with him will find the truth hard to believe. Learn from your past mistakes. You may have been co-dependent with him or your own dependency may have given him complete power over you. Stick to your ground and do not let him sway you to give in.

If you give in once, you are giving him power over you and it may lead into a cycle of him blaming and you giving in. Meet him in public places when it is necessary to see him.

How to Co Parent With a Narcissist or a Difficult Partner

Discuss only the matter at hand. Before your meeting, visualize yourself remaining calm and in control. This will help you to maintain your composure when he tries to take control by pushing your buttons. You might also consider getting a mediator. When you hear him ranting or raving, remind yourself that you are responsible for your own actions, thoughts, and feelings and he has no power over you unless you give it to him.

Believe that you can and will control this situation in a matter that will continue to empower you. Keep a journal regarding all contact you have with him. File a restraining How To Cope With A Narcissistic Ex Husband if he begins to threaten you or becomes physically abusive.

Do not contact him for anything and do not expect anything from him. Of course, this only works if you are enough not to have young children with him.

I was checking your website as read more as others similar on divorced moms coaching because I am on my way to become a coach too.

I just wanted to say that among all sites I checked I found yours to have most substance and depth, and I also appreciated you honesty and openness to share your story.

How To Cope With A Narcissistic Ex Husband

I gave up everything materially just to get off the hook and have peace. He wanted the money, the big house, and next week he actually remarries bringing his new spouse in the house Http:// paid for during so many years. Me and the kids live in a place half the size and we are happy.

I am so glad I did this and now I am on the verge of moving towards work that I love and fulfills me, instead of wasting my time on him as other women do they may feel choiceless. Like you, I want to show them that you can have a wonderful life after divorce, that you can finally be yourself fully and truly: At least our suffering will not be in vain… Blessings for the change you bring in the world, Yours, Mihaela.

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I too am dealing with a narcissist ex. I not only gave up on the material things. I have shared parenting with him, here have four children ages 17,15,11 and 9.

He has tried to prove me an unfit mother time and time again. He does not speak or see our first born, and she is a good kid. He hurts me through the children. I do not speak to him only text him. Please help my kids. Your story sounds very similar to mine. Seeing this was written by you a couple years ago, how did things pan out for you? What could I potentially be in for?

Wow, my story is like yours. My kids are 22,18,15,12 and 8. My ex has lied over and over again.

How To Cope With A Narcissistic Ex Husband

My ex-husband has lied and lied again to get what he wants with my children in courts i have a trial set for Dec 1st. Why do our exes get away with lieing? Because at this moment, I tell my side but everyone is taking his. I cannot say if my ex-husband is narcissistic or not. My daughters now 32 and 25, do not have a good relationship with him.

He said hurtful things to them growing up. He had arguments with my son. My son and he had a better relationship usually through sports. I think my son has internalized some negative thinking from him. I tried to intervene during blowups with the kids. Everybody got very emotional and I would try to be the voice of reason. I was really afraid of being a single mother and thought it would be worse for the kids.

I also had my in laws next door who were a buffer, such being there for the kids when I worked evenings. When my in laws passed away, How To Cope With A Narcissistic Ex Husband became really evident to me that my husband had some kind of difficulties with any kind of problem.

He did the blaming thing and yelled at me daily. Now that we are divorced, he seems to be a different person. He has a girlfriend 10 years younger than himself. He is always calm with me and says that therapy really helped him.

It has been better for me, not being married to him. He did have 2 personalities. One nice one for the public, and a nasty one for home. This describes my situation almost identically. I was just a workhorse to get him what he needed.

I just divorced this extreme narcicisst. After a 20 plus year Mariage of Affairs and betrayals I had enough. After hiring an aggressive male attorney I went no contact. There are no minor children. All of sudden I was in control and came out the winner in the divorce.

Get a good attorney that will look out for your rights regarding spousal and child support as well as equal division of the marital property. My situation is that I have been separated from my ex for 18 months as he had an affair with my then best friend. With the help read: My child is afraid of him and asks me all the time to get us away from him.

His house, his money, his son and all he had. Divorcing him was the best decision I ever made. No contact is the only way I keep my control. I will never look at him or talk to him again. He is pure evil.

Thanks to the little minion he met. She can have him. I thought things were finally going well in last month until I found out he cheated on me at the destination wedding he went to. I picked him up and dropped him off at the airport we talked every day and he told me how much he missed me….

I was never so happy when my son graduated high school and decided to go into the military and was completely independent. Learn more about California child custody laws on our comprehensive and in depth look at the subject. Any advice for me to give my Submitted by Lillie on January 2, - 2: The truth is she is a sweet girl who is on the honor roll, does not get into trouble, and has no tolerance for lies.

My question is we used to gchat daily while we were both at work and gchat was one of the first things he blocked me on after i confronted him about cheating…BUT since i have my gmail up every day while i am at work anyways i have noticed that every single day at least times a day he will unblock me for a minute then reblock me again and do the same thing more times throughout the day…this has gone on for 3 weeks.

Is he just doing it to mess with me?